Anthony John Mendoza

The beginning of 'Miseries Company'

2008-12-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

"What' that?" You may ask what the heck could THAT be?

It's my new musical about the college experience.

Click on the link to get on facebook and get all the info on this happening. I've compiled alot of the more edgy music i've made in the past two years and put it into this show. Hopefully the songs will be as catchy as the concept. People are really taken into it well, i'm getting feedback, messages, and texts about it. So check out the new buzz. It does mean alot to me.

Thanks everyone!

Nina Demeter

2008-11-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

Girl needs to be kidding if she thinks she's really giving up performing... being the most talented performer i've ever worked with/been close with.

Tsk Tsk Tsk.

Man of La Mancha news

2008-11-18T23:54:00.000-08:00

Or lack thereof. I was prepping and excited for auditioning for Man of La Mancha at Act 2 Theatre... they changed their show, it's going to be "Carousel" now, meh. Not too fond of the show. But... i'm starving on doing some theater, it's been a couple of months. When I first heard the sudden changed I dismissed the idea. I mean La Mancha to Carousel? To each their own...

I know some of you got that reference.

What role should I go for in Carousel? Billy? Jigger? Mr. Snow? Hmm. Can I even sing Billy? I'll fiddle with the music at the piano later. That's all I got for now. Til' next time.

On the Mend

2008-11-16T19:22:00.000-08:00

"One more day that i've survived

another night alone

Pay no mind, i'm doing fine

i'm breathing on my own"

It hurts saying goodbye, so i'm just not going to do it. Let's face it, it doesn't matter as much to you anyway, some of us move on, some of us don't. Some move slower, that's me.

Just when I thought I was the one always in a hurry, always up to pace at least... i've fallen behind. I can trick myself and say i'm at the right level right now but i'm not. For that, will end everything. I've played this game before, and it ends, always. It's probably me.

"I'm here

and i'm on the mend

I'm here

and i'm on the mend my friend"

I'm driving myself mentally sick with fears, and it's either because i'm lazy or i'm afraid of not being able to do anything about it, or afraid of how I can handle certain situations that can very well be or not be there. The back part of my mind tells me that i'm getting worked up, and it's really nothing. The majority tells me that I should at least worry. These dueling thoughts drive me to anxiety, effecting my personality, probaly behavior, and definitley sleep.

"Wake me when the hour arrives

Wake me with my name

See you somewhere down the line

We're teathered once again"

Now I know as good as anyone that this is merely a test, i've still got too much to learn before I just give up. This is the midst of the transcendent period we all go through. Fears, loss of relationships, personality change, choices, the undying effort is more than just a period... it's like this for the rest of our lives. The people who are happy are the ones that are confident... i'm obviously not. I'm trying to figure out why, though? I'm on the same boat as tons of people, and yet, i'm the only one not dancing at the party. I live with a rain cloud over my head, I put it there. To the few I get to see still I put on a show. I make them laugh, in anyway I can... making an ass out of myself, just so I can hear them laugh. Just so that I can know I made an impression on someone, for better or for worse. Leaving a small dent on a moment in someones life.

"Close your eyes and stay a while

Take me where you go

Single file we walk the miles

Wandering back home"

I guess that's the make-up of a performer. I almost cringe calling myself one. I feel so cocky, saying it. "I'm an actor". Something about the phrase. I know how I come off to the majority of the people I know, and even my friends. It's nearly like i'm dealt with rather nice to be around. We are all our own worst critic, I know. I take in the few enemies i've made rather than the loved ones that truly care about my well-being. Right there, after that statement, I realized this is all such dramatics. And if say someone else we're to have written all of this, I would feel this person would need to grow up a bit. What does that mean? I'm insensitive? I don't think I am. I'm there for my friends... right? I have been before. They've been there before for me. I'm in that cliche hole where i'm falling into the dark and looking up and seeing everyone looking down, their heads in the light. I just keep falling... into my grave. Only it's more than 6 feet deep, i'm being seperated from everyone, and doing what everyone fears, drifting alone. I couldn't possibly tell you what I want. Because I know there are people here that care about how i'm doing. It seems my real problem is that i'm dwelling on the ones who have stopped, and forgotten about what I have meant to them. And as much as I would like to stick it to them and say, "hey, that's fine... you're replaceable", I can't, because i'm not like them, I suppose I have a heart, little as it be, a soul... damaged? No, confused more likely. Some of the people I know are so lucky, and fortunate, they will never know it until they lose it all. The chips on their shoulder have been replaced with material, and their shallow mind dismisses every wrong thing that has happened to them, but then they turn around and judge me. And I little burn me, maybe a little bit, but enough to feel it where it hurt the most.

"I'm here

And I'm on the mend

I'm here

And I'm on the mend my friend"

'Cupid' Filming

2008-11-14T18:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was at the filming for the new ABC show 'Cupid'. That was an interesting experience, as you would imagine it. Woke up at 6am to get there for my 9am call, tons of young people crowd the call room. Young, beautiful, eager people. Most we're pretty nice, got to meet some nice people, including one girl who I think was cool enough to get a number from, her name was Dandan :) . I actually ran into a guy from back at home, too. Michael L'Atrella... funny guy, we're pretty much in the backround of every scene, being crazy. I actually saw him right away too when I walked into the call room, we both we're in the huge waiting line for costumes when this big flamboyant, black fella stopped and looked at both of us and was like "YOU... come here.. that neck... i need to shave it" That was fun, he was talking to both of us.

We we're fed, but jesus the day felt like forever. Much standing around, 14 hours of labor, I hadn't got much sleep either, so that was my fault. The lunch break was an hour long, it was an hour long, and really dinner time, and it started raining during the break, and also when we we're done shooting I played many different roles in this scene, and probaly had about 5 "dates" for this homecoming dance sequence. I got to interact with Camille Guaty a little bit, who is by the way extremely attractive and looks nothing like her age. I also end up walking across or standing next to the star of the show, Bobby Cannovale, so thats pretty good. I honestly don't see myself as a on-screen actor... but the experience is the payoff, and of course the slight exposure.

"Cupid" premiers on ABC January 2009, this wasn't the pilot episode, we're guessing it's in the first few episodes though, so I will update as soon as I know it will be airing.

The Tale...

2008-11-10T23:34:00.000-08:00

I'm new to this, bear with me please =)

Yesterday was the best and worst of times. My favorite show came to a screeching holt and closed. I'm upset... I woke up at 7:35am to race to the theatre and get in line for my usual student rush ticket, great success, landed front row center tickets. It was so incredible to be there for the final performance. The actors energy and emotion was so high, and seeing them 5 ft away from me was really inspiring as an actor, and moving as an audience member.

A Tale of Two Cities wasn't given a chance to blossom the way most successful shows eventually do. If you got to see it, you loved it...! That was the promise. The economy is struggling, so now broadway is struggling as many shows are closing. I thought I was heart broken about Spring Awakening closing, I felt so dismayed this morning waking up and knowing I will never get to see Tale again.

On my way over to the costume fitting, I had time to kill, I decided to walk over to the Hirschfield, where the show had played. Stood there for about 10 minutes in disbelief and sadness looking at the posters of all these wonderful actors who have greatly inspired me to push my dreams to another level, more notably James Barbour. I walk away about 3 or 4 blocks? Perhaps 10... I don't remember, and I have much time to kill and decide I would like a tasty sandwich, hey why not subway, as i'm walking in... a tall fellow with a baseball cap walks in front of me, I recognized the long hair immediatley, no way... are you kidding me? I'm completely starstruck. James Barbour and Gregg Edelman. Both men had been performing 5 ft in front of me 24 hours earliar, now 2 feet away from me getting a sandwich. It was wonderful to be in the company, if only for 5 minutes. There both great people, which means alot to me. With that kind of talent one would think being kind is a luxury, to them it comes off more sincere, and I could tell they cared for there Tale family. I will certainly miss this show, SO much. I must go to sleep for now. G'night.